First, let me acknowledge my own fallibility, and where things started with me even contemplating using a CIO method. COMPARING!!! (see post on 2/1 about this. I had to re-read it several times to remind myself). It just seems that everyone I know with a baby now, or who in the past 20 years has had a baby asks "Is he sleeping through the night?" It's like our society is obsessed with this. It sends the message that if your child (regardless of age) isn't sleeping a solid 10-12 hours, then there is something wrong or abnormal with him or her. So I started thinking that my son should be doing this too. Even though he only wakes 2-3 times a night, to nurse for about 15 minutes, then generally goes right back to sleep. Sometimes he's a little ornery and wants to be awake or play a little, but even that is pretty rare. This schedule hasn't been affecting my sleep that much, so I didn't think it a big deal. Until I started comparing and making a problem where there wasn't one.
Regardless, I wanted to know more about the CIO methods, as many people had talked about using it to sleep train their child. Some parents also use it so as to not "spoil" their baby. I hate that people actually think that you can spoil a baby. A baby who is helpless, and has no way to get his needs met, other than by a caregiver. Meeting a child's needs is not spoiling. Over-indulging a child's wants is. Plus, a baby does not have the cognitive capacity to want anything yet or the abilities to manipulate us by crying!!! Yes, they are crying because they need something. Sometimes it's simply just needing to be held close and nurtured. If you think this is spoiling, please read the many articles below on attachment.
The attachment theory is something I strongly believe in. I believe in it because there has been a LOT of research done on it over the past 40+ years (keep in mind that's much longer than many of the vaccines that our doctors recommend we give our children). Research consistently shows the necessity of a child to bond with his or her caregiver, which is usually a parent. It also shows the importance of the caregiver responding quickly, and sensitively, and how this develops securely attached children who become healthy adults who are then capable of establishing healthy relationships. Here is a very brief summary about attachment theory: The central theme of attachment theory is that mothers who are available and responsive to their infant's needs establish a sense of security in their children. The infant knows that the caregiver is dependable, which creates a secure base for the child to then explore the world. An abundance of research shows that regular physical contact, reassurance, and prompt responses to distress in infancy and childhood results in secure and confident adults who are better able to form functional relationships.
Study after study have been done over the years to confirm this theory. I think most parents would agree with this theory, despite the fact that the CIO method goes completely against this theory. Yes, you read that right. A CIO method basically ignores what we know to be true about attachment. Does a CIO method work? Apparently it often does, for many babies and their family. Does that mean it is safe, or without negative effects? I don't believe so. I can feel some of your blood pressure's rising as you process this. Again, read the all caps statement in the first paragraph.
Much of my thinking is based on my education (Masters degree in Clinical Psychology) and my work experience (13 years now working with children, adults, and families either doing therapy or direct psychiatric care). I'm a little bit of a crunchy type mom as well. With that being said, my education taught me to read, conduct, and believe in research that has valid findings. I use these skills every time I make an important decision. I have to say, all of the research that I've been wading through provides evidence that a CIO method has so many negative risks. It can cause long lasting damage. Does this mean it will? Of course not. Flying, surgery, rock climbing, eating fast food, smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol; these all have risks of negative results, but many of us engage in some of these behaviors. I say this to point out that just because something bad can happen, doesn't mean it will. But if it is HIGHLY LIKELY, then I'd rather err on the side of caution. So much of the research out there proves that it is more likely than not, that there could be a negative impact on the child if subjected to a CIO method.
There are many types and variations of the CIO method. Some where you let the child cry for intervals and offer soothing either in between intervals or crying, or while the child is crying or both. Some methods say you put the baby in their crib to sleep around 8 pm, close the door, and don't go back in until 7 am no matter what; leaving the baby to cry....for ten minutes, 30 minutes.....all night long possibly. Or until they vomit or hyperventilate. Yeah, that sounds healthy. Proponents of a CIO method will tell you it works, that they were able to get much needed sleep and get their life back. I'm sorry, but I feel that this is more about US as parents, then about our child and what he or she needs. I do indeed believe that this type of method can work, but I've read that it takes anywhere from 3-7 nights. And anytime there is a disruption in schedule or an illness, then it has to be repeated. As if it isn't torturous enough to the child and parents to do it one round, there has to be multiple rounds? No thank you. Why would I do this to my child when it simply isn't necessary? Here is what happens physically when a child is left to cry: (taken from one of the articles below. And since I'm not doing a research paper here myself, I'm not citing anything in this post, but all the articles are below)
"It has been suggested in the past that CIO is healthy for infants’ physical development, particularly the lungs. A recent study looking at the immediate and long-term physiologic consequences of infant crying suggests otherwise. The following changes due to infant crying have been documented: increased heart rate and blood pressure, reduced oxygen level, elevated cerebral blood pressure, depleted energy reserves and oxygen, interrupted mother-infant interaction, brain injury, and cardiac dysfunction. "
And here is what happens emotionally:
"The first phase, labeled “protest”, consists of loud crying and extreme restlessness. The second phase, labeled “despair”, consists of monotonous crying, inactivity, and steady withdrawal. The third phase, labeled “detachment”, consists of a renewed interest in surroundings, albeit a remote, distant kind of interest. Thus, it appears that while leaving babies to cry it out can lead to the eventual dissipation of those cries, it also appears that this occurs due to the gradual development of apathy in the child. The child stops crying because she learns that she can no longer hope for the caregiver to provide comfort, not because her distress has been alleviated."
So bottom line, the baby stops crying because she has given up hope. And trust. Wow. That is something I NEVER want to do to my child. Sleep deprived or not. But that's just me. Not to mention all the PROVEN physical distress it puts on a child. Does this mean I have to be next to or holding my child at all times in order to respond instantaneously? Certainly not, and we all know this isn't possible. But why would I want to just leave him to cry or not respond timely? Just so you know, most societies don't work like ours, (busy, busy, stuff-to-do, can't be bothered) in that most non-Western societies "wear" (like the Baby Bjorn, but usually made out of cloth or fabric) their children most of the time. Therefore they can respond quickly to their children. Can you guess the crying habits of these children compared to children in our society? Our children were much fussier, cried more often, and for longer periods of time. Again proving that attending to a child's needs quickly is more beneficial to him or her (and the caregiver and their relationship)!
I could probably go on and on about this topic, as there is just so much to say about it. What I find particularly interesting is there is LOTS of evidence showing that a CIO method is likely harmful to children. I couldn't find ANY evidence showing that it without a doubt is not. If you find some, please share it with us. What I did find is lots of people (some doctors, some nurses, some parent educators) advocating to use a method that does in fact work for many people. I didn't find any of these people doing ANY education or awareness about the potential risks or negative consequences (physically and emotionally) of using this type of method. And certainly if a doctor recommended our child get surgery or begin a medication we would expect that they would inform us potential risks or side effects, right? Seems quite concerning that those urging us to use this method are keeping this vital information hush hush. Much like telling you to give your child "these" vaccinations but not explaining what's in them, potential risks, etc. But I've already addressed that soap box, I guess.
I've said this before, and I'll say it again, it is OUR responsibility as parents to make the best and most informed decisions for our children. Just because the doctor recommends it, or your well intentioned friend, sister, mom etc says it will work, doesn't mean it is best for your child. We live in a culture focused on instant gratification. Give it to me now, fix this now, no time to wait.....yada yada yada. Part of being a parent is making sacrifices and suffering! Hopefully not all the time, but likely for a lot of it (might as well accept it now). Hopefully the good and happy moments outweigh the tough ones. Although we may have to learn how to function on a few hours of sleep. We may be grumpy at times. We might have to actually hold our little bundle of love instead of getting on Facebook or making that phone call. But WE are adults. We have the skills and resources to figure out how to problem solve and cope with life's stressors, as well as prioritize what is important and what can wait. If we don't then we need to get some help and probably hold off on having any more kids for the time being. I know my child is worth making sacrifices for, so I will continue to do so.
As I've started researching CIO and sleep training, I have also been making a few changes with my son to see if I could possibly lengthen the amount of time between wakings at night. I know I said I didn't feel like there was a problem with his sleeping, and I don't think there is. However, I did find a lot of research showing that consistent solid sleep without waking is highly beneficial to babies. So I figured if there were some things I could do to promote this that were safe, easy, and healthy, why not give it a try. So I made the following small changes: I moved bath time from morning, to every night around the same time. While keeping lullaby music on, after bath time we put pajamas on and then it's the last feeding before bed. I have also started giving him 2 oz of pumped milk in a bottle after he nurses. I've also turned the night light out that I had been using, to where it is much darker and turned on white noise all night long. Prior to these changes he had been waking every 3 hours from his last night feeding until time to get up in the morning (some slight variation here and there). So night 1 he went 3 1/2 hours, night 2 he went 4 1/2 hours. Night 3 he went 6 hours, and night 4 he went 8 hours. It may be a fluke. I don't know, but it's working. Maybe my attitude about responding to him has changed and became more positive. I have no idea. If he goes back to every 3 hours, I'm more than okay with that. It's just more time I get to snuggle and love on him, and it's soo worth it! I have ordered a couple books about sleep training and nap training that I'm excited to read about. They are:
No Cry Sleep Solution and No Cry Nap Solution both by Elizabeth Pantley. I'll let you know what I discover from those readings.
Here are the links to the articles and studies I read about CIO method, attachment, etc Please note that every article is either based on research itself or is citing research. Good luck!
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