COLORING OUTSIDE THE LINES

A couple weeks ago, during our DBT team meeting, I participated in a very enlightening exercise.  We were given a coloring sheet and a box of colored pencils and 5 minutes to mindfully color our picture-with our non-dominate hand.

As I began, I approached this task much like I do everything; by going into super-planning mode.  A ton of thoughts flooded my brain as I planned, such as which colors would look best and where, and how I would possibly be able to color to perfection with my left hand.  I spent about 30 seconds in planning mode when a great idea struck me.  I decided, "just have fun with this!" And that is what I did.  I spent the next 4 1/2 minutes coloring out of control.  I picked random colors and went crazy as my lefty did some amazingly sloppy color work.  It wasn't pretty by any means.  The colors certainly spilled over the lines.  It did in fact look like a 4 year old took their best shot at it.  But while engaging in this exercise I had a lot of revelations and one very clear memory.

I was back in second grade, coloring a picture of santa, in a train, for the yearly coloring competition our elementary school had.  I worked so hard every year.  Selecting the perfect colors, using my awesome shading method of making the borders very dark and then lightly coloring in between.  Every year I thought how wonderful I did, and couldn't fathom how I couldn't win, or at least place in the top 3.  Guess what? I never did.  Not one year of K-6 did I place in the Christmas Coloring Contest.  Despite all my planning and hard work, I never got the payoff I thought I deserved.

Part of that second grade memory that hit me during this exercise was a kid in my class.  I won't mention his name, but if we went to school together, ask me, and I'll tell you who it was.  He had a much different approach to coloring his picture.  He colored with reckless abandon.  Colors were flying and he was pressing so hard on the desk that I'm surprised he didn't color a hole through it.  I was quite annoyed, as I could clearly see his sloppy and unattractive work.  I could also see the smile that he had the whole time that he was coloring.  It was like it was the most fun he had ever had in his entire life.  Not to mention he was done in about 5 minutes and on to other more enjoyable activities, while I sat frowning and stressed, trying to perfect my masterpiece.

So during out exercise, as I flashed back to that memory, I channeled my classmate.  I colored with fun in mind.  And exactly that happened! I had a blast!  I didn't finish my picture, and I didn't care to.  I had accomplished what I set out to achieve.  It was a great feeling.

This simple exercise reminded me that not everything in life has to be approached with such planning and perfection in mind.  My husband also helps remind me of this, and keeps me more balanced when it comes to life in general.  He is much more laid-back and the "fly by the seat of his pants and enjoy it all" kind of guy.  A big reason I love him, another I want to strangle him sometimes.  But I think we all need people, and reasons to simply let go, and just enjoy things at times.  Whether it's a task, or work, or something intended to be fun, we need to be able to enjoy more and stress less.  By no means am I saying that planning and perfectionism don't have their place, because I certainly believe they do, I also think that I can let go and just enjoy a whole lot more.  After all, isn't enjoying life the point?

GRATITUDE

Is it just me, or is everyone and everything in our existence super negative? Ok, so that's a little extreme....it's not everyone and everything, but it sure is A LOT of people and things.  This is one big reason I choose not to watch the news.  I did happen to tune in a couple of weeks ago, only for a local interest piece, that after 15 minutes in, I realized it aired the night before.  What a complete waste of time.  Those 15 minutes were full of nothing but child beating, child killing, people stealing, low life living-CRAP! And I need to be informed of this because......? That's right, I don't.  Which again, is why I choose normally NOT to watch the news.  Some say ignorance is bliss, I tend to think of it as not knowing the crap saves me undue heartache and anger.

This post isn't about the news, but it is about focusing on the positive, and what we have to be grateful for, instead of complaining and getting stuck in what "we want, don't have, should get, etc" mode. If you haven't done so before, just take one day to notice the negative versus positive around you.  Listen to the people you live with, work with, get services from.  Listen to what you hear on the radio, the tv, walking down the street, what you read in the paper, or a book.  Take stock; are these things polluting your head and turning your focus towards the negative?? Chances are the answer is YES!

We get so gripey and comlainy.  Yes, I know those aren't actual words, but I think we all get what I mean.  So many of us have it so good-beyond good. We are blessed beyond measure.  However we get bogged down in what isn't going right, what we want instead of what we have/need, how things could be, etc.  This is going to be a short post because I really don't think there is a whole lot left to say, except:

Count your blessings, and start approaching your day and the people in your life with a heart of gratitude and a mind focused on the positive aspects of life. (Even if you spill that $5 mocha you waited 15 minutes in line for.  There certainly are far worse things in life.)  I guarantee it will make an amazing difference.  And while you are at it, why not cut out those sources of negativeness and ungratefulness.  I know you'll be glad you did!